How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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