The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
