I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
