i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
