So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
