just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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