What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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