Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
