Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
