with your own penis?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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