Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
