no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
