So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
