This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
