well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
