no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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