Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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