Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
