I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
