so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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