How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Man, jail baloney is awful.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
