Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
