i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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