OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
