a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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