The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
