I smell stomach acid.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
