Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
