I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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