my mouth tastes like poor choices
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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