her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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