Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
