it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
