Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
