you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
