If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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