Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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