I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have fence marks all over my body
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
