if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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