Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
