i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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