Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize