Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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