He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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