This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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