Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
