if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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