so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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