why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
