oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
