he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The Olympian is in my bed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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