could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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