no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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