they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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