ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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