I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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