Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
