he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
