why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
