I wannas sexs uuuuu
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Randomize
