she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
