In the future we'll all be gay
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
